Here’s a video I created where I share how difficult Valentine’s Day was for me and how I changed it to be joyful and happy.

I no longer have that feeling of wishing someone would buy me a specific gift, flowers or chocolate for Valentine’s Day. I learned how to overcome this when I was a single mom. My life is so much more enjoyable as I brought this same value into my marriage of 10 years.

Living without expectation or hope of a gift, card, flowers or chocolate is a much easier way to live. I found this to be especially true when I was a single mom who didn’t have someone special in my life. The aftermath of a toxic relationship can make Valentine’s Day even more complicated and heartbreaking.

Valentines Day Used to Be Heartbreaking

Valentine’s Day can be a difficult and emotionally charged holiday for many women. I remember 20 years ago after I had just left a toxic relationship. There I was sitting in my office watching other’s receive flowers, chocolates and get taken out for lunch dates. As a result, I felt so sad, and unlovable. Not to mention, I was comparing myself to other’s which I would like to point out and is a bad idea. As a result, I felt like I wasn’t important to anyone in this life. Under these circumstances, I so desperately wanted someone to shower me with love and affection and to be able to receive gifts and feel cherished. These feelings were very heightened on Valentines Day.

Treat Yourself with Kindness

I was a single mom for 10 years. I made it my priority to learn to be comfortable doing things on my own. In addition, I realized I needed to treat myself with love. Like I was my best friend. Doing things for myself that made me smile or filled my heart with joy. To give you a couple ideas, my favorite things that bring me joy are painting my nails, taking a bath with scented Epsom salt, and listening to upbeat music and dancing (in my house).

Bring Joy to Your Life

In addition, if you want fresh flowers for your table, buy them. If it will put a smile on your face and bring joy to your heart, it’s ok to buy them for yourself! When I started doing this, it made me so happy! In addition, it’s Valentine’s Day, treat yourself kindly. If you don’t want to cook, order take out.

Mindset is Everything

When I started realizing the thoughts in my mind contributed directly to how I was feeling in my heart, that changed everything. When we are constantly reminding ourselves of how bad our life is on one day of the year because we don’t have someone special in our life, it is being really mean to yourself! Set a timer if you have to and put some inspirational notes or things you are grateful for in your phone to remind you of the great things in your life. It has always cheered my up to think of all the things I am grateful for.  Gratitude fills our hearts with love and makes us feel happy about who we are, what we have done and how far we have come in our healing journey. If you are at the beginning of your journey, you had to take big steps to get to where you are now as a single mom.

One Last thing…

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a sad day for you if you’re a single mom. I say treat yourself to something special and enjoy the life you have. If you would like to continue the conversation about healing after toxic relationships, join me in the private Facebook community where it’s easier for us to connect. I also have some free trainings for you to reduce anxious trainings. I am here to illuminate your healing journey so you can live the life you so desire with love in your heart. It’s possible, I am living proof.

💜Renee