As a single mom, you have so much on your plate. First, and foremost, you are caring for the children and coordinating all their activities, then prioritizing career demands, fitting in social obligations, and trying to get a little bit of me-time that so important for your mental health. So, the last thing you need is an unfulfilling or unhealthy relationship, especially if you have been there done that! But how do you avoid these types of relationships? That’s what we’re going to explore in this guide. So, if you’re tired of the drama, the heartache, and the chaos, keep reading.

1. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an essential part of building any healthy relationship. I found “The Book of Boundaries, Set the limits that will set you free” by Melissa Urban to be really helpful. She gives great tips on how to kindly set boundaries that are important to you. The last thing you want to do is resent someone because you couldn’t say “no”. At first it may feel uncomfortable, however, it builds confidence and protects your heart. Setting boundaries is really helpful at work and at home. This can be from your partner, family, friends, children or anyone in your life. Setting boundaries can make all the difference in preventing unhealthy relationships.

2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags.

Sometimes, in the early stages of building relationships, we tend to overlook red flags. Why? I think it can be because we really want to be in a relationship or we excuse it because of what they have been through. As a single mom, it’s so important for ourselves and our children that we don’t ignore the red flags. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Listen to your gut instinct, it’s usually right. Take note on how your date treats other people, how they handle conflicts, and how they respond under stress.

3. Make Sure Your Needs Are Being Met.

This one is HUGE! Being upfront with your needs is super important. If you are unable to communicate your needs, it’s time to practice. This will save you from being in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship. As a single mom, you have a lot on your plate and it’s important to communicate your needs with your partner.  This will ensure that your relationship is balanced and that your partner respects the needs you have. It’s also important that you are ready to show that same respect to them in terms of their needs.

4. Trust the Process.

One of the most important things to keep in mind when trying to avoid unhealthy relationships is to trust the process. Dating can be a frustrating and stressful experience. It’s easy to get discouraged, but it’s important to stay committed to the process. Someone once told me that I needed to date and decline the next invitation if they didn’t match my values. This was powerful advice for an introvert! I did this and it was a huge confidence booster! Expect that you will connect with people who aren’t right for you, but that’s ok, it’s all part of the process. Just remember that with each experience, lesson or mistake, you are getting closer to finding that person who has the same values as you. When you have the same values, it makes the relationship much easier!

5. Practice Self-Care.

Finally, the best way to avoid unhealthy relationships is to prioritize self-care. You can’t give what you don’t have, and if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s unlikely that you’ll form a healthy and fulfilling relationship. As a single mom, it might seem like there’s not enough time for self-care as it is, but it’s so important to prioritize your emotional, mental and physical health. If you have endured an unhealthy relationship, learn more about how self-love can help you heal. A great program to get his started is the 11 Day Jumpstart. Taking time to enjoy things that warm your heart are essential. Some of the things I enjoy are yoga, walking my dog, kayaking, cross country skiing or a bath with my favorite essential oils and Epsom salt.

One last thing…

Avoiding unhealthy relationships doesn’t have to be hard. The most important thing is knowing your worth (you have a lot of self-worth!), setting boundaries and sticking to them, being aware of red flags, communicating your needs, trusting your gut feeling, and taking good care of yourself along the way. There’s no need to settle for someone who doesn’t respect and value you. Keep an open mind, stay confident and always remember that the right person for you is out there. For more support join my private Facebook group: Single Moms: Money & Emotions