What Single Moms Should Look Out for on First Dates

Dating as a single mom can be tricky, especially if you’ve been out of the game for quite some time. You might be wondering if the person you’re on a first date with is right for you as well as your child. This is why it’s so important to know your values (what’s most important to you) and never settle for anyone. Above all, to protect yourself and your children you’ll want to be on alert for any potential red flags that may appear during the your first date. In this blog post, I’ll share a couple of red flags I think are important to watch out for during first dates, so that you can make sure you’re only investing time in those who are genuinely interested. Equally important, I want you to be able to decline a 2nd date if he is not a match for you. Your first instinct is usually right on!

He talks a lot about his ex😳

I’ve had this happen! I just sat and listened to him complain about his ex and how unfair his life was throughout dinner. I barely said a word! He did tell me I was a great conversationalist! haha! When a person talks excessively about his ex during the first date, this could mean several things. They could still be hung up on their past partner and not ready to move on, or they could still have some unresolved feelings. Whatever the reason is, excessive talking about the ex during a first date is never a good sign. My rule of thumb was they needed to be divorced for one year before I would consider a date. Remember you are not desperate. Someone should be honored to date you.

Is he Curious About You?

If your date shows no interest in where you work, how many children you have or what things are most important to you this could be a huge red flag. As a single mom, your values, children and employment are in the center of your universe, and you want to be with someone who understands that. If your date is constantly talking about himself or tries to be the perfect match for you, you may want to reconsider moving forward.

Does he Show Kindness?

Pay attention to how your date treats the waiter/waitress, the staff at the restaurant or the cashier at the coffee shop. If they’re rude or short with them, this can be telling of their character. This could mean that they lack respect for others, or they’re not considerate towards people who are working hard to serve them. This is how he will treat you.

Pay attention to your First Impression

The first impression of your date is usually correct. You will know within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone if you are attracted to them or have a connection. That’s why it is important to dress in a way that’s comfortable to you on a date. This will make you feel more confident and comfortable during the first few minutes of meeting someone.

Can you Decline a Second Date?

Are you prepared to decline a second date? I want you to be in control of who gets past that first date. You have so much more on the line when you have children. You certainly don’t want history to repeat itself and find yourself in another unhealthy relationship. At the end of the day, it’s your decision on whether you would like to continue the conversation from the first date.😊

One Last Thing…

First dates are all about seeing if there is a connection between the two of you and that you are a good match. It’s important to pay attention to red flags, since they should be part of your decision making on whether or not your date is worthy of having a second date with you. Remember, as a single mom, you deserve someone who will value you. Having a clear understanding of your values is so important when you want to align with someone that has similar values as you. If you are desperate and just want to be with someone, you are going to be setting yourself up for failure. Take note of any red flags that may crop up during the conversation and be prepared to decline a second date. This will help you to filter out the potentials, and focus on finding the one who is truly compatible and respects you and your children. Want some extra support after experiencing an unhealthy relationship? Join my private Facebook group. See you over there!😊