How to deal with mean text messages from toxic people

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious or frustrated about receiving text messages from an ex during working hours? After I left a toxic relationship and started out on my own as a single mom, I noticed that every time my ex would call me or send a text message, I would be nervous and shaky inside. After enduring such a relationship all I wanted was relief from all the nervous feelings. The distance of living in my new apartment was great relief, however, now we had to co-parent.

Ready to Be My Best

There I was, sitting in my office at my desk in my business suit ready to help customers with their financial questions as a Personal Banker. As a matter of fact, I had a nice office with large windows that took up my back wall. I loved it!  Equally important, I enjoyed helping people and was ready to tackle the day and help customers with their financial questions about loans, mortgages, credit cards or their personal saving and checking accounts.

The Chaos

Then, early in the morning, just after work started, I would hear the ding on my phone that notified me there was a text message. The message was from my ex, typically a demanding one that needed his attention right away. I would respond with a quick, short message and get on with my day. But then, another scathing text message would come across my phone. Feeling like I needed to respond right away and calm him down by cooperating or dealing with what he needed. It was so distracting for me to read these messages and they also made me feel nervous & jittery inside.

My Reaction

This was so distracting to be at work and have someone angry and demanding on the other end. I needed to be on top of my game and ready to help customers. As time went on, I informed him that I would not be able to respond to text messages while at work. As a result, I stopped reading his text messages while I was at work and was able to be fully prepared to help customers. In addition, it helped me to stay focused at work.

The Solution

If you are enduring these same type of text messages, I give you permission to set a boundary and let him know, you will not be reading text messages during working hours and read them after work. If there is an emergency, they can call your place of work. I will point out, they typically don’t stop there. Once he realized he couldn’t get my attention at work through text messages, he would stop in at my place of work and ask to talk to me. So, be forewarned, if you set a boundary and they don’t like your boundary, they will do whatever it takes to get around your boundary to get your attention.

Once Last Thing…

I know first-hand the many side-effects from toxic relationships and offer natural therapies to recover or remedies to help you through these tough situations. Check out my Favorites page to learn more about what I like, use and count on to help me through the many emotions and side effects we experience. One thing that has helped me heal from all these nervous and anxious feelings is my Healing Hearts program. If you are interested in continuing the conversation about how to heal from toxic relationships, join me in my private Facebook group. I’d love to have you and support you through your healing journey.

💜Renee